Having The Mental Health Chat with Kids

When your child receives a diagnosis, a little research can go a long way in helping you focus on the benefits and positive traits that may go along with that diagnosis. This will help you create the best environment for your child as well as direct them to activities that they will excel in.

When Will I Know the Right Time to Talk to My Child?

Once you notice concerning behavior, whether they have been diagnosed or not, begin having conversations with your child which will provide a safe space in which they can feel comfortable coming to you for help and guidance. Help your child to identify coOftentimes, as adults, we try to protect our kids from knowing too much about the difficult parts of life. We err on the side of protecting them, but children are much more aware of their surroundings than we give them credit for. By shying away from topics like mental health, we may inadvertently create a stigma where we really want to have open and honest conversations.

Why is it Important to Talk to Children About Mental Health?

The National Alliance on Mental Illness reports that 1 out of 5 children ages 13-17 suffer from a mental illness. On average, it may be 8-10 years between the time a child exhibits symptoms to the time interventions and treatments are administered. Over 37% of students who have a mental disorder aged 14 and over dropout of high school and over 70% in the juvenile justice system have a mental disorder. These statistics are the driving force behind the need for parents and caregivers of children with mental illness to talk openly with their children to help them positively navigate life.

How Do I Know What I Should Say?

Place yourself in a child’s mindset. What is the first question children usually ask in most situations? “Am I in trouble?” “Did I do something bad?” Children with mental disorders need to know first and foremost that they are not bad or that they are in trouble for the parts of them that may struggle with mental illness. If we are too afraid to mention mental health or talk about the ways they may be unlike other children or family members, they may feel they are bad, and no one likes them. Just the act of sitting and talking about their behavior or coping techniques can bring an openness and comfort level they need to have a conversation about their feelings.

Children may also benefit from a discussion about mental health and the impact within their immediate and extended family. This helps the child to understand that they are not alone, and it curbs the feeling of emotional isolation that often comes with experiencing mental health issues. When a behavior or situation occurs, finding ways to relate to the child can make them feel as if you understand what they are going through and how they are feeling. This creates a safe space where they can freely express emotions and ask questions.

Should I Get Support?

Having conversations with anyone about mental health can be challenging. Stay connected with your child’s doctor, teachers, and counselors. This will help you pinpoint areas you all see and those can be the first areas you can address together. Including children in age-appropriate conversations about solutions to their mental health struggles lets them know they are not bad or set aside but are cared for and important. A collaboration with the parents and the child’s educators along with their healthcare providers and counselors provide more insight into common triggers and ways of coping. This team effort helps the child to see that they are not alone but also that they are valued by others.

What Should I Stay Away from in the Conversations?

Avoid any words or language that isolate the child or make the child feel ashamed. Words like “illness” or “sickness” can be scary and can make the child feel like there is something wrong with them. Comparing a child to other members of the household as if they are the only one who is different can also make the child feel ashamed. Additionally, always pointing out the negatives of their mental health struggles makes for a feeling of being bad or a burden.

What are the positives?

Research has shown that there are positive and desirable traits that come with certain mental disorders. Each disorder has traits that can go a long way in helping the child live a productive life, such as:

Bipolar Disorder

o empathy

o spirituality

o creativity

o resilience

o realism

ADHD

o Resilience

o higher levels of social intelligence

o humor

o empathy

o courage

o energy

Tourette’s Syndrome

o Creative

o Successful

o taskmaster

o highly aware

o great sense of humor

OCD

o heightened creativity

o good problem solvers

o detail-oriented

o precise

o empathetic

o ability to overcome obstacles

concerning behaviors and the preceding triggers. Work with your child to incorporate techniques that promote mental wellness and positive interactions with others.

It is understandable to be reluctant to address mental illness but the staggering statistics of rising mental illness among children indicate it is necessary. As a parent or caregiver, it is important to have an honest and open approach to working with your child in fostering mental wellness through honest conversations. It is imperative that a safe space is created for the child to support optimal mental health.